I thought that the title of this blog post would be really meaningful after what I'm going to talk about (and, if you see the picture and have read the news recently, you’ll know what I mean).
But before we get to that, I always like to start from the beginning of my week, and this is going to be a bit of a serious post, and I’d rather start it off on a happier note. So let’s talk about Switched At Birth this week!
It was definitely better this week! And that’s mainly because Daphne finally got in trouble for all the mess she did. But geez, even then - I hate how she ALWAYS tries to defend her actions! She “barely pushed” Bay (she knocked her to the GROUND!), it’s not a big deal about her doing crack because it was “one time” (really?), and then she tries to pin the blame on Regina by revealing her mother pulling a gun on her! I mean I know why she said it, but Daphne is just trying to get out of trouble. Just - stop acting like you’re perfect, okay? Because no one is (and before you say anything, I know I'm talking to a fictional character…)
The most interesting part of this episode (and the past few ones) was the Daphne drama, of course. At the clinic, she goes to get some medicine or something for the doctor (can’t remember his name) to help a patient, but then she sees these drugs (can’t remember their name, either) and takes them! But then she washes them down the drain…and the doctor finds out and lets Daphne go. Really, though, he handled the situation REALLY well. I mean, she STOLE pills and then WASHED them down the drain! What if someone needed them?
And then Wes finds out that Daphne was involved with Nacho punk in the vandalism…as much as Wes annoys me, he was totally justified for wanting to punish Daphne for her illegal actions! Of course, Regina defended her own daughter, but I mean, I think Daphne might need to go to jail. You can’t just get off the hook for that kind of stuff. Or she at least needs to go to rehab.
Which leads me to the part where Daphne runs off and her family finds her, and she apologizes for everything and cries and they all hug. It isa really heartfelt scene, especially when Daphne admits that SHE feels guilty for not getting to know Angelo until he died.
I, however, have a problem if Daphne doesn’t learn from this. She said she was sorry with the thing with blackmailing Chip Coto last season, but now she does this! I mean, I just hope she’s sincerely sorry. She seemed like she was last time but then Angelo died and, you know…but everyone needs to be forgiven. Rehabilitated yes, but I don’t want anyone hating her forever because of something she did. As unlikable as she can get, I really don’t believe that Daphne is just this horrible person.
Bay’s storyline wasn’t as interesting, but I did like how she stood up to the people at prom when they said that boys had to wear tuxes and girls had to wear dresses. I don’t personally cross-dress or anything, but I seriously have a problem with you telling someone that they can’t dress the way they want unless they dress inappropriately. I think that’s why I like Bay. I wouldn’t have done what she had done in her protesting, but when she had the prom outside at the end, I probably would have done that. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered, etc. you do NOT get to judge people like that. It’s discrimination.
Well, that was pretty much it of Switched. The season finale is next week, and I'm wondering if they’re getting a forth season or not? I'm kinda having mixed feelings on that. Season 1 in my opinion was the best season and it’s gone downhill since that, but the actors are really good and still make it enjoyable enough. And I feel like a “dedicated’ fan, so yeah, I’ll probably watch it - even if it’s just the first episode.
Now that that is out of the way, I have some other news to talk about, something very serious and heartbreaking but something that also has changed me for the better.
On August 11, the same day that I was watching Switched At Birth, I logged into Facebook and discovered that Robin Williams had died. As I looked into it further to make sure that it wasn’t a hoax, I saw that it was likely a suicide attempt. Williams had been suffering from severe depression for a long time, and then, monday, he took his life.
I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I was so devastated. As my friends on Facebook were posting about it, I did too, but I could barely type the words because I felt like crying.
Suicide is absolutely the worst way to die. You didn’t die because you had some physical illness or because someone even killed you or because of old age - you died because you took your own life. I can barely imagine anyone doing that. It’s such a terrible thought and is the worst way to die.
But I KNOW what he was feeling. I KNOW what it feels like to be so helpless, to feel like your life is just so horrible, to feel miserable, to feel like you’re in such unbearable pain that you just want it all to end. I have felt this way before, and I actually thought about killing myself several times, as disturbing as that is. I actually came close to doing it a few months ago, but I was too afraid of death.
It wasn’t just that, though, that stopped me. There was some part of me that knew that this wasn’t the way to go - I know there had to have been. Even though my first thought was “no one will care if I die” I KNEW that wasn’t true at all. I knew my family would be hurt, and I now I can't imagine what my older brother would think because he had lost his friend to suicide a few years ago, and I just KNEW that there was something pulling me back. Deep down, I wanted to live. I wanted to love myself again.
Robin Williams’ death has taught me more about myself. I always try to turn what seems like the saddest situation into something meaningful, and I did that day. I decided that I wasn’t going to end my own life (thankfully I haven’t thought of it recently, but I don’t ever want to even think about doing it again). I am going to use my own pain to get myself help, as I am doing now, and I am going to keep moving forward and not look back.
By helping myself, I know that I can show others that there is a way out of darkness and that you can be happy again. I sincerely want to, and I believe a part of me, believes that my Facebook status and Twitter posts about depression and suicide has helped someone. You never know how your words can affect people, and I hope mine has affected people for the better.
Rest in peace, Robin Williams. You made me laugh so much as a kid, and I hope that someone makes you laugh in heaven.
I feel a little weird sharing all of this personal stuff on my public blog, but in the light of everything that happened with Robin Williams' (and Phillip Seymour's possible suicide) it felt like a good time to share. And I'm working on accepting my feelings and being honest with people without feeling guilty for my feelings. As Demi Lovato said in her book, our feelings are apart of us and we should accept that.
Gosh, just thinking about all the stuff Demi went through and how she made it out - she's such an inspiring person. I know she's probably heard this a million times, but if I ever met her I would tell her how much of an inspiration she is to me and how, when I was reality struggling, I thought of her and how much wonderful advice her book has taught me. Stay strong, Demi❤️
My personal life hasn't had anything too interesting so far, as far as external things. I kinda started school this week...well, not completely. My mom told me what I was gonna do this year, but I'm still waiting on some of my books and my math came later that Monday, so I haven't done it yet. Plus, we've got some dental/doctor appointments and stuff that happened this week as well as next week and pretty much all of August, so we're gonna be busy!
Plus, did I meh toon that I'm a SENIOR this year? College, jobs, all that boring future stuff :p But I'm going to enjoy this school year and my future. I'm determined to make this school year worthwhile and better than my past teen years.
In literature news, I've been reading Peter Pan (did I post that last week? I don't remember :p) It's OK. I wasn't really a fan of the Disney movie, either, so I don't really think I'm into the story. Peter Pan is...I don't know. I know he's in Neverland so he's never grown up and matured, but he's just seems bratty to me. I do love the message about keeping a lively, childlike imagination even when you're older.
I went to the orthodontist Wednesday with my brother Brad! They did some X-rays and then they talked about my overbite (ugh :p lol). Mine's not too bad (yes!) as far as medical reasons (I don't care as much about the cosmetics) but it could be a problem in the future. I also have four wisdom teeth that are coming in sideways and could casts problems, so I'm definitely getting those pulled out (I'm gonna have to go into surgery and get sedated! :O) As far as the braces, we'll still deciding whether or not we really need them, since it isn't a HUGE issue now but could pose as potential problems on the future. Guess we'll see how it all works out!
Afterwards, I went to a little restaruant across the street for lunch (it's local so I'm not saying it's name ;) The food was pretty good! The fries were delicious, and the pesto sandwich (I LOVE PESTO!!!) was really good. The peppers were a little too ripe for my taste, because they were bitter, but otherwise it was really good! And not that this matters, but there was a bottle of ketchup on the table that read FANCY TOMATO KETCHUP and then I said it's so fancy like the Iggy Azeals song ;) lol I'm so stupid😆
Later on that day, Meemaw came over, and we played Freeze, and my mom actually came in, too! She usually comes up with some excuse not to play games with us, like how she has to cook or whatever xD haha
I hope I can get my writing mojo back! It’s hard for me to stay focused on the work. I think I don’t like editing: there, I said it. I already know that I don’t like proofreading, but I am starting to find editing to be heinous as well. I mean, I think I like changing around words and using synonyms and all, but my works are so LONG and I just don’t feel like rewriting them :P I know I have to get over that.
In any case, I’ve found that switching my works every month or so has helped. I was gonna edit Lizard-Man this week, but I think after Hyper-monkey in nanowrimo I got so tired of superheroes or had writer’s block and I need to watch more superhero stuff before I get more ideas, anyway, so I went to Werebeast. But I also get stuck on this ONE part after the beginning of the story—the end, or everything leading up to the end, which of course is too important to leave out! Like, I'm 2/3 way through the story, but that darn 1/3 is bugging me. I’ve been stuck on that part for 3 years it feels like! I mean I had another idea for it, but then I changed it because it didn’t really work out for what I was wanting in the story. So I guess it hasn’t been three years, so maybe like 2 or 1?
Wow, I'm rambling again…but this is my blog, and I can talk about whatever I want, yeah? xD Lol, anyway…I started doing some stuff for that Alice In Wonderland remake I mentioned months ago. I published a shortened version of it on Figment and some of my other writing websites, and I didn’t plan on making it into a full-blown story, but I really love the idea! I think I can relate to Alice well because she kind of sees the world (actually, not kinda lol) as a dark place, something that I felt a lot when I was depressed. And she just wants escapism, which is also something I feel. But I’ve taken that trait of mine to an extreme, because Alice is very blunt and rude to everyone around her. But I’ve read and really do agree that exaggerating a person’s personality/emotions could help make a good character, or something to that sort.
I'm also doing this new thing in writing that, whenever, I read some paragraph that I like, I copy it down. This works especially well for battle scenes, because I don’t like writing/watching most of them, so it helps me get a feel for it. It also helps with describing emotions, a description of someone, etc.
As soon as I get that Revenge of The Sith novelization, I'm going to do the same. And I’ll probably do it with my junior ROTS novelization, as well as the other Star Wars novelization. I think it’ll really help me get a feel for the characters, settings, etc. I know I said I wanted to focus on my original stories more, but darn it, I love Star Wars, especially Revenge, so freaking much that I just HAVE to write a fanfic for it, even if it never gets published. And I'm already so in love with the Revenge novelization that I'm going to DEFINITELY copy down some of the paragraphs from it to help me describe the characters well.
I watched Freaky Friday on a Friday :) haha. I went on a Lindsay Lohan run (I already saw Life Sized and Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen years ago and I recently watched Mean Girls and The Parent Trap). It was really good! I loved the whole idea of a mother and doing switching bodies so that they literally can take a step inside of each others shoes. And the actors were really good!
I think that's been it for this week. I know I had a LOT to talk about - I was just full of words, huh? Lol. Anyway...I'm going to be leaving sometime today to come to the opening of a friend of my dad's shoe store (cool, right? lol). You know, my mom mentioned that I could maybe ask about helping around there for free, kind of like volunteering, or even maybe get an internship (how cool would that be?) And I'm wondering if I could do the same at the library, because, well, even though I think I want to go to college, I don't want to owe all of that $$$ to them, so maybe I'll just get my first two years at community college and earn my associates degree, yeah? But anyway, I may not even get an internship, but I suppose if I helped out at the store I could add that on my resume ;) And Disney's gonna show Aladdin on Saturday and Sunday, in honor of Robin Williams, and I do so want to watch :) Bye!
No comments:
Post a Comment