Spring Stuff

I don't feel like I have a lot to write today, but I want to write something because I missed yesterday (sorry about that :P) I honestly feel like I haven't been doing much...that story (fanfiction) I mentioned I was avoiding I'm finally looking at again! So yay!!! I love the quote that goes along the lines of "You have to write the story that wants to be written." And this one wants to be written :)

Um, I'm going to be graduating soon, so that's exciting! What's funny is that my older brother will also be graduating from community college, so we're both graduating this year :D I was thinking I could borrow his graduation gown (he got it yesterday) and were it whenever I graduate xD

Oh, and if you haven't heard, the AWESOME trailer for the new Star Wars movie came out a little over a week ago. I spammed my Tumblr and Facebook and Twitter and pretty much every other social media platform I'm on with it xD Seriously, though, it's SOOO good. I loved it. Makes me so excited for the movie. Too bad I have to wait until December :P

Well, at least I'll have Age of Ultron to watch in the meantime :) I'm pretty sure it's coming out next Friday. I heard it's going to be darker, so I just hope it doesn't get too dark. Like, I've enjoyed mature/ dark movies in the past but sometimes it seems like it's just unnecessary, if that makes sense. But anyway, I could be totally wrong, and I know we're going to see it anyway because my brother's obsessed with it xD Lol, I want to watch it too, though, just his excitement is about the same level as my excitement for the new Star Wars movie :D

I've been getting into coloring. It was something I kind of did on and off but now I'm doing it more regularly. I mentioned before when I was depressed that I lost interest in things, but now I'm more willing to try things and I'm kind of "making" myself try new things to see what interests me. And I really love coloring. I just love the colors; it brings the drawing to life. It's very fulfilling for me :)

Something similar to coloring that I've been doing is drawing. I used to do it a lot as a kid. I feel like I get more of a joy out of coloring but I still like it -especially when I draw a picture and then color it ;) I read some interesting studies saying that doodling actually helps you pay attention in class, so it's something I've been trying when I listen to my lectures. It's pretty relaxing and I love to just let loose and draw whatever the heck I want. I guess doodling's like freewriting - you just draw/write, not caring if it makes sense or is "good" or "bad". Anyway, it's not hindering my ability to study, not totally, anyone, so I'm going to keep doing it :)

Dancing is something I've gotten back into recently. I think part of the reason I didn't enjoy it as much is because it made me feel good but my depression was like "You can't enjoy anything because you don't deserve to be happy." Like, no. I'm going to start ignoring that voice. I'm already talking back to them. Getting back on the subject of dance, I've been looking at tutorials on how to do certain dance moves that people did in music videos and such. It's really fun. I don't know what style of dancing it is but I like it. I think I just like to be challenged, too, so I need new stuff to get back to now and again. Hopefully when things settle (we have a lot going on right now) I can get back int dance class if I want to.

Whoa, that did turn out longer than I thought! Cool! Anyway, so that's been what's been happening lately. I'm really looking forward to college and I think a part of me just wants to be done with high school to get to it. But I want to enjoy my last high school years. Moments go by so fast and I want to enjoy it so I won't wished I had :) See you next week (hopefully!!!)

Last Day!

This is the last day of the spring break! It feels like it went by kind of fast but at the same time slow, if that makes any sense at all xD I didn't do a whole lot. I had more time for my hobbies, of course, so I did that.

I've been reading a book my Mom got me from the library on helping writers, well, write. And something written in one of the chapters struck me. The author was saying that someone who felt like they had too little ideas, or writer's block (I think) may have actually had so many ideas that they didn't know what to write down.

I wonder if that's happening with me. For months I've felt blocked, yet sometimes these ideas have popped up every now and then. I did think I was running out of ideas, and maybe I am, but at the same time I remember kind of bouncing from one story idea to the next, never writing anything down.

I also think I've been avoiding writing this fanfiction because it's so close to home with me, probably one of the most personal things I've ever written, and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. It's because the main character has gone through similar mental anguish as I have, so I can really relate. And though I've tried to be open about my mental health issues, it's still not 100% comfortable talking about it, you know? I don't know if it ever will be. I've seen videos of people talking about their mental illnesses and a common comment was that they felt uncomfortable saying something so personal, which I know would make anyone feel vulnerable.

But maybe that's why I feel like I have to write the story. It's helping me, in a way, I believe. When I was really depressed last year it felt therapeutic writing the story. I was having a character help another get through their issues and I guess that was like a cry for help for me when I desperately wanted to speak to someone but didn't know what to say. It actually amazes me how close to home this story is. But I can tell that it will make it all the more authentic.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out because I honestly didn't do much this week (save for staying in the house - does anyone even say "save for" anyone or is that archaic? xD) But yeah, that's what I've been up to lately. Sorry for not posting yesterday. I was under a lot of mental stress but I'm starting to relax now :) I'm really glad I'm starting to get better and actually enjoy things, because that's the main thing depression has taken away from me and I'm finally starting to get my life back together :) Have a great day and the rest of the week, everyone!

Spring Break 2015

Since my brother's off from college (and since homeschoolers can adjust their schedules ;). I'm on spring break now!!! And I don't know what to do xD I know I won't be doing schoolwork, but I highly doubt I'll be doing NOTHING. My older siblings and I are doing some business work with my dad, and with our mom we're doing some spring cleaning (though we got a lot of it done last week). And of course now I have more time to write (and blog!) and do other things in my free time!

Sorry, this post isn't going to be very long. I might wrap it up now...I just don't feel like I have as much to say. I hope once I get back into things I will, because I enjoy blogging. But I'm glad I wrore something :D I think part of the problem is that I'm doing so much writing (regularly in my diary for several months, schoolwork, my stories, etc.) that I don't always feel like writing on my blog post. But maybe during this break I'll have more to say since I'll be off.

See you all later!